Dear me!! I’m sorry

I do often think when my life flows totally against expectations

Am I living with the motive to love or to be loved?

We can do things with contentment

Or simply retain power through obligations

Why am I becoming angry about the real things my brain acknowledged already

This is how the emotions override logical reasons

That’s why I am still thinking about past

That’s what I am afraid of people

That’s what I am afraid of me

I’m sorry dear me… For keeping all these small details in my head

The sweetest memories… The craziest moments and the tearful stories

That’s how it is supposedly

I will express as it is Bcz’ I don’t wanna live with the fear of rejection by the standards set by anyone

Evenif the sky falls down, I wanna stand up, heads high, heart full of gratitude and hope for goodness

Dear self… At times I fall down and cry for the promises I gave

But I won’t give up as I love you life for everything I am blessed with

Mizhi✍️

Butterfly thoughts

You don’t wake up one day and suddenly become a beautiful butterfly

Everything has it’s pace

Often we get confused between two ideas

Which kind of one you are??

If you want something, make it happen

If it’s yours, it will come to you

Whenever I get in to this dilemma

Sit back and analyse the incidents happens around

For certain things, we have to get up and workout on the obstacles

It might require the timely interventions and efforts

There are other things which need immense patience and will to accept

Bcz’ our efforts can’t make changes on certain situation

They ought to take time

Just keep it as it is

What I’ve learnt is,

Build the wisdom to distinguish between these two choices

No matter how slow you go, try to make the best of it

Mizhi✍️

A cup of tea!!

For a cup of tea..

For a balcony..

For an evening..

There are so many stories to tell about me that I don’t even know how to tell.

Because it’s probably a heavy task for the brain to remember all this until the tea is over.

How many friendships the whole world has started with a cup of tea. How many of us have run out of tea?

Can’t we just tell someone.. we want to go and have tea with them again?

Have you ever had to share tea with someone you don’t like at all?

When you get tired of walking, what else tastes like the tea your mother gave you?

Haven’t we been conscious about the purse and just drank tea when we want to buy something else to eat?

There are those who have gone so far as to never invite me to have a cup of tea again?

Like sipping a cup of tea on the balcony .. or how did I hit it ??

Mizhi✍️

Promises

Keep promises…

We say things

And when it loose the transparency,

When things looks blurred

Again we say “I didn’t mean that. You mistook it. You are convincing me”

Why should I listen the blame for other’s poor communication

Let them fix it first before they make promises which they don’t even remember

Let them set the priorities before they guess my feelings and say it’s wrong

Let them take whomever they wish to without interfering my existence

Let them stop lying about their actions

Your life is your responsibility and your promises are yours

The same for mine too

When someone say “It all started once you entered in my path”

Just review the statement and guess the pain if you are listening it

And again you say “I didn’t mean, but I have promises to keep, though you are there or not”

Healthy bonds are not built of mere promises

For anyone who are struggling with your bonds when someone entered, just communicate it clearly

It’s not the problem with the new one, but you don’t know how to be pure with both

Showing a different face at different place and people can’t save you for a long-term

Because actors are also humans once they sets out of stage

For me, I value that ‘ being clear’ than anything

Mizhi✍️

Change

Changes….

I do listen this from many people

“You have changed a lot”

When the people knew me in the past says this

Initially I used to criticize and tell me

“They might have felt hurt

I shouldn’t have changed my nature”

After a long time I realized something which I never thought before

People rarely change

Even if they change, it’s more or less of what they already have!!

When a shift in character is much required for your own validation

Though it seems to be wrong for everyone who knows you till the moment

Go ahead and see what happens

Either it’s a lesson or it’s beginning of another era

Life has this quite wonderful transition which is much indeed

For the people who say you’ve changed

It’s the affirmation which your life gives back for the inputs you received and processed

Be happy for the changes

Either it can break or it can make

Moreover it’s better than being stagnant

Mizhi✍️

Heart Break

How does the real heartbreak look like?

When you give all your blood and sweat for your people

And when you say

You’re down

You need help

They node their head with disappointment

They open their hands and shows nothing to give you

What happens here?

Are we expecting the same love you gave

Are we expecting them to treat with the same affection you gave

No! Never!

It’s ok to feel hurt in such intense moments

But we shouldn’t harden our heart for the reason

Bcz’ it’s a scar on the soul and it would make an ashamed mark

Which might hinder us to be the kind hearted again

Your soul is not validated by other’s reactions!!

Mizhi✍️

Thirst for pain

When I was breaking inside

I smiled

Because I know I need chaos and storms

To renovate the home I built inside

To my dear self..

Whenever you sat in peace for a longtime

There is a murmur that you often tried to listen but never took so serious

For that I love you at times and I hate it too

Walking out of the pine walley, I know I will slip in mud and my beautiful jacket is gonna be full of dirt

But I didn’t stop stepping into the valley

All alone I wanted to do it for me

Because I know one day when I recollect the moments by moving my fingers over the letters in my diary

I want to see the smile on your face for not giving up

Everytime you go up and down

I am here!! Whispering..”You love sine waves and that’s why”

I am in love with these chaos, without that how could I became me

I know you will scream at certain moments

But I would also like to tell you

All the strangers around you are surviving the battle in some way

In their own way

That’s how it’s directed by the universe

Just fall in love with that and flow with more ease than burdening your heart with syncing emotions

Dear self…Be busy with improving and learning through all the hurdles I give you

I want to shake and shape the best in you!!!

Your’s lovingly

Mizhi✍️

Can I die of loneliness??

At the end of the day I used to count the moments I felt lonely!!!

And I felt I am being lonely even when I am engaged within a conversation

Or when I am actively doing something

I started thinking about people who died out of loneliness!!

It’s like a drug that makes you addictive in a slow pace

It’s a psychological thurst for an unknown destination

We will literarily feel blank if you stepped into the lonely space suddenly on a morning


But I promise you…

Once you conquest it, you know how to deal with yourself and that itself is a self realization

In this journey if I couldn’t find how to deal with my emotional imbalances and complexities, how can I ask someone else for a hand…

Once in a while… Just feel the lone incumbent state…

It helps us to retain the value of people who stood with us

Remind it.. Write it.. Feel the gratitude…

And then learn the art of holding the hands of lonely walkers and earn the courage to step out when we feel they are able to walk the rest alone, but with a smile…

Extract the substance in solidarity…

Realize the essence in aloneness…

That much dynamic life is…

Hence I believe in the power of aloneness..

Can I die out of loneliness? Probably NO…

I don’t want anyone whom I know to feel the same too

Mizhi✍️