Thirst for pain

When I was breaking inside

I smiled

Because I know I need chaos and storms

To renovate the home I built inside

To my dear self..

Whenever you sat in peace for a longtime

There is a murmur that you often tried to listen but never took so serious

For that I love you at times and I hate it too

Walking out of the pine walley, I know I will slip in mud and my beautiful jacket is gonna be full of dirt

But I didn’t stop stepping into the valley

All alone I wanted to do it for me

Because I know one day when I recollect the moments by moving my fingers over the letters in my diary

I want to see the smile on your face for not giving up

Everytime you go up and down

I am here!! Whispering..”You love sine waves and that’s why”

I am in love with these chaos, without that how could I became me

I know you will scream at certain moments

But I would also like to tell you

All the strangers around you are surviving the battle in some way

In their own way

That’s how it’s directed by the universe

Just fall in love with that and flow with more ease than burdening your heart with syncing emotions

Dear self…Be busy with improving and learning through all the hurdles I give you

I want to shake and shape the best in you!!!

Your’s lovingly


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